Sunday 4/23/06

It's Sunday. THis past Friday was 2 years since my dad's funeral. I'm better, but still depressed. I think I'm deeply depressed. I don't cry as much as I used to, but nothing matters. I'm gaining weight, yet I'm not doing anything about it. All I feel like doing is laying in bed. I've become a sloth that needs to go to work. My job has become a chore. Getting up in the morning is a chore. I used to be excited to go to work. I liked going to work, but now, I come up with excuses to call into work. Something that I really enjoyed has become the thing I can't stand. I think it also has to do with the fact that I feel trapped in the job now. I working for the health insurance, not because I want to be there. This is really the longest job I have ever had. Over 6 years now ARRRGGG. I have a boring office job; ARRRRGGG. I want to have a creative job, yet all my creativity has dried up over the years. I can't even come up with boring office ideas to motivate the staff. That is only because I'm the one who requires the motivation. MOTIVATE ME